Thursday, May 22
along with millions of people, me and my lil family tuned in to watch the finale of american idol...
the final contestants, two wonderful people with sincere hearts and amazing talent...
we had watched the night before, as they each sang 3 songs and gave everything they had in the moment.
my heart broke when simon went too far in several of his comments and i watched the spirit of david cook fall to the proverbial floor.
there was real discouragement there and i grew angry with simon's unfeeling assessment of his 3 performances while he actively rallied for david archuleta.
as i watched last night, i remembered with great feeling all simon had said the night before...i was so disappointed in the man who i've grown to admire.
then the unthinkable happened...
simon 'ate and owned' his behavior and words of the night before!
in front of literally millions of people, he unabashedly apologized in detail and my heart soared towards the judge who people have loved to hate.
and though i am so grateful to Abba that 'cookie' won, i am most grateful and thrilled that a seemingly harsh and indifferent man, chose to 'eat and own' his damaging behavior.
what courage that takes!
what beauty is seen in the utter vulnerability of that moment!
what grace that God bestows upon us when we are humble and contrite!
to me, there is nothing as lovely and precious as the moment we 'eat and own' what we have done...
though simon may or may not be a Christian, i truly felt the presence of God when he admitted his previous night's behavior was wrong.
have you ever felt compelled to call or write a loved one when you knew you had to repent of something you've done?
ever felt the fear of rejection and yet moved forward courageously into that moment anyways?
i have.
though my repentance was and always will be genuine, i was rejected nonetheless...
the heartache of not being believed, of not being accepted, of not being forgiven, is too vast for me to describe here, but i am sure i am not alone in this experience and even if i could go back to the moment i confessed and begged for another chance,
i would not change a thing...
true repentance is not contingent upon other's forgiveness...
it is a gift from God and though the 'death to self' is indescribably painful, it is worth every single minute...
when we repent, we become free...
free from inner condemnation,
free from the oppressive guilt.
and free to let Abba work it out in the lives of those around us.
i cannot change a single person i've known and loved...
i can only change me.
and
i can only change me with Abba's help.
we just cannot do it on our own...
if there is anything at all that is 'unfinished business' between you and someone else,
please take the courageous step forward into 'eating and owning' your own behavior.
you can do it...
if i can...you can.
accept the Lord's help in moving forward towards repentance...
and He'll stand beside you until your sorrow turns to joy.
"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."
*2 peter 3:9*
the final contestants, two wonderful people with sincere hearts and amazing talent...
we had watched the night before, as they each sang 3 songs and gave everything they had in the moment.
my heart broke when simon went too far in several of his comments and i watched the spirit of david cook fall to the proverbial floor.
there was real discouragement there and i grew angry with simon's unfeeling assessment of his 3 performances while he actively rallied for david archuleta.
as i watched last night, i remembered with great feeling all simon had said the night before...i was so disappointed in the man who i've grown to admire.
then the unthinkable happened...
simon 'ate and owned' his behavior and words of the night before!
in front of literally millions of people, he unabashedly apologized in detail and my heart soared towards the judge who people have loved to hate.
and though i am so grateful to Abba that 'cookie' won, i am most grateful and thrilled that a seemingly harsh and indifferent man, chose to 'eat and own' his damaging behavior.
what courage that takes!
what beauty is seen in the utter vulnerability of that moment!
what grace that God bestows upon us when we are humble and contrite!
to me, there is nothing as lovely and precious as the moment we 'eat and own' what we have done...
though simon may or may not be a Christian, i truly felt the presence of God when he admitted his previous night's behavior was wrong.
have you ever felt compelled to call or write a loved one when you knew you had to repent of something you've done?
ever felt the fear of rejection and yet moved forward courageously into that moment anyways?
i have.
though my repentance was and always will be genuine, i was rejected nonetheless...
the heartache of not being believed, of not being accepted, of not being forgiven, is too vast for me to describe here, but i am sure i am not alone in this experience and even if i could go back to the moment i confessed and begged for another chance,
i would not change a thing...
true repentance is not contingent upon other's forgiveness...
it is a gift from God and though the 'death to self' is indescribably painful, it is worth every single minute...
when we repent, we become free...
free from inner condemnation,
free from the oppressive guilt.
and free to let Abba work it out in the lives of those around us.
i cannot change a single person i've known and loved...
i can only change me.
and
i can only change me with Abba's help.
we just cannot do it on our own...
if there is anything at all that is 'unfinished business' between you and someone else,
please take the courageous step forward into 'eating and owning' your own behavior.
you can do it...
if i can...you can.
accept the Lord's help in moving forward towards repentance...
and He'll stand beside you until your sorrow turns to joy.
"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."
*2 peter 3:9*
