without a word...

Treachery Behind the Scenes

They said again and again, "But Jesus is making trouble with
the people! He teaches all around Judea. He began in Galilee,
and now he is here!" Pilate heard this and asked if Jesus was
from Galilee. Pilate learned that Jesus was under Herod's
authority. Herod was in Jerusalem at that time, so Pilate
sent Jesus to him. When Herod saw Jesus, he was very happy.
Herod had heard all about Jesus. So he had wanted to meet
Jesus for a long time. Herod wanted to see a miracle. So he
hoped that Jesus would do a miracle. Herod asked Jesus many
questions, but Jesus said nothing. The leading priests and
teachers of the law were standing there. They were shouting
things against Jesus. Then Herod and his soldiers laughed at
Jesus. They made fun of Jesus by dressing him in clothes like
kings wear. Then Herod sent Jesus back to Pilate. In the
past, Pilate and Herod had always been enemies. But on that
day Herod and Pilate became friends.

-- Luke 23:5-12 (ERV)

KEY THOUGHT:

The trials of Jesus were a mockery. None of them was about justice.
The Sanhedrin was not supposed to meet secretly at night.
Pilate pronounced Jesus innocent,
yet kept the legal proceedings going for political expediency. Herod had no desire to do the right thing; he was determined to do the politically correct thing. This was nothing more than treachery.
Jesus was not treated fairly. He did not receive justice.
What was done to him was what God decried throughout the Old
Testament through the prophets -- there was no justice in the courts
and those with money and power misused their influence. Sinners and
traitors convicted Jesus. He was the innocent lamb led to slaughter.
He was the perfect sacrifice for all who are sinners ...
even for us and those who put him to death.

TODAY'S PRAYER:

Father, it breaks my heart to see your Son treated with such treachery.
While it angers me, it also helps me bear those times that I am treated
unfairly. I know that Jesus is with me in those times and that he more
than understands my emotions. Thank you for walking in our unfair and
often cruel world as one of us so that we can share eternity with you.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

*originally from www.heartlight.org*

God is the God of second chances...originally published in 2006

he didn't mean to do it...
he really didn't.
if you'd asked him just yesterday, he'd have told you twice.
"i won't deny You, my Lord - i won't!"
and we would have believed him.

see, peter was all about passion. . .
passion to fish, passion to fight and passion to love.
a huge burly figure,
peter never did things in a small way.
when his Lord and Savior beckoned to him to come
he put his roughened feet into the salty water
and went without a thought.

how about you?
is there something you've done -
something so awful, that you'd give
anything just to make it right again?
ever want to give up your place in the pig's trough
and run home again?
did you ever feel like you had passed the 'point of no return' -
that you'd sinned too much - and that this time it felt like there
simply wasn't enough grace for your Father to forgive what you'd done?

peter did...
he knew what it meant to deny and to run away from the only One
who would never deny or give up on him...
and when all was said and done and peter heard the rooster crow,
"he went outside and wept bitterly".

but Jesus wasn't done with peter...
no matter what he had done,
Jesus was compassionately moved to reassure, reinstate
and remind peter, that He knew this fisherman's heart,
and loved him no less for what he had done.

today, our precious Jesus, offers us this same sin-defying Grace.
and it is this same question that every human being will inevitably
be given to answer for themselves:

do you love Me? He asks. . .
how could we not?

{Peter declared, "Even if everyone else deserts you, I never will."
"Peter," Jesus replied, "the truth is, this very night, before the
rooster crows, you will deny me three times."
"No!" Peter insisted.
"Not even if I have to die with you!
I will never deny you!" }
*Matthew 26:31-35*

what she left behind...

This obituary of a 79-year-old woman ran on August 16-17, 2008,
in the Vallejo, California, "Times-Herald."
It was placed there by one of the deceased's many daughters.


"Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7,
2008. She will be met in the afterlife by a host of family members.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely
shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of
her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very
few tears will be shed, and there will be no lamenting over her
passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will
remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling
times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her,
and perhaps we will think of those times, too. But I truly believe
at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never
had—a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I
hope she is finally at peace with herself.

As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of
a time of healing and learning to be a family again. There will be
no service, no prayers, and no closure for the family she spent a
lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see
to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their
goodbyes. So I say here for all of us,

GOOD BYE, MOM."

Help us all, dear Lord, to be the very best of ourselves that only You can make of us...
help us leave behind a legacy of Love.

original story from:
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/201111/20111108_religiousjargon.html

can't You hear me, God?...

some of the most painful questions my children have ever asked me are:

"how come when i pray and pray and nothing ever happens?"
"why isn't God helping me?"
"why isn't He listening to me?"

they're not the only ones who have wondered those very same things.

i've asked God those many times as well...
but this is what i've ultimately learned and passed onto my children, family and friends:

God never sleeps
He's never on vacation or on a coffee break
there is nothing too trivial or insignificant to bring to God in prayer.
if it matter to us, it matters to Him.

and though we are human beings with finite vision, God is not...
He is always working on and for His children...
for our own good and for the glory of His eternal Kingdom.

the truth is, we can't even see enough ahead to know what will happen in the next 5 minutes of our life, yet alone, all the secret and divine work that our Father is doing on our behalf.
that doesn't mean that He isn't working with all His power and might to heal and restore His children...
He is.

and yet again, as everything in my walk with Him seems to come down to just one vital question, i hear His tender voice in my heart:

"elaine, do you trust Me?
with your life and the lives of your children and loved ones?
do you trust Me with all the fears, hopes and dreams in your heart?"

and though trusting comes hard for me...He's helped me trust Him more,
bit by bit and day by day.
i've prayed often: "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
*Mark 9:24*

i don't pretend to understand His timing or why He answers some prayers quickly and others have yet to come to pass,
but i believe i can trust in His ultimate plan for us all...

"“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
*Jeremiah 29:11-14*

i just love that kid!

(this is originally published at www.heartlight.org)

I Love that Kid!~by Rubel Shelly

I don't know Josh Ripley, but I love that kid! Let me tell you why.

Sixteen-year-old Josh is a junior at Andover (Minnesota) High School.
He was running a 5K race on Sept. 16 in a field of 261 competitors.
With the race less than half done, the 6-foot-5-inch runner heard a
scream and saw a runner he didn't know crumpled against a fence --
holding a profusely bleeding ankle.

The injured athlete was 5-foot-5-inch Mark Paulauskas, a freshman at
Lakeville South High. Here is Mark's account: "He just picked me up
without saying anything and started carrying me and trying to calm me
down. He said, 'It's going to be OK. I'm going to get you to your
coaches.' ... I think it's amazing."

Sure enough, with his own coach trying to figure out why Josh hadn't
passed the halfway mark, he spotted him. "I was wondering what was
going on, why was he so far back," said Scott Clark. "Then I see Josh.
He's got the kid in his arms."

Josh Ripley carried Mark about a quarter mile! He handed him off to his
coaches and family and then -- dead last in the field of runners now --
sped off to resume his race. He passed 50 kids to finish 211th out of
261 runners. No excuses. No disappointment. No explanation. He just
finished what he had started -- only to be asked by one teammate why he had fallen so far behind. "He just humbly says, 'Oh, I picked up a
kid,' " said sophomore Simeon Toronto. "And I'm like, 'Dude, you just
picked up a kid and carried him?' That's incredible!" Then added
Toronto: "It was just so typical Josh."

I love that kid!
And while most of the news reports I tracked down cited this as a
supreme example of sportsmanship and compassion among
athletes, I think they missed the real force at work in Josh's action.
The details make it pretty clear that it was the unfolding of a very
practical faith that Josh embraces.

He does volunteer work at Living Word Christian Center and -- by both
Mark and Josh's account -- prayed over Mark as he ran with him in his
arms. He prayed for Mark's pain to stop and for him to be all right. He
even asked Mark's permission before he started the prayer! And Josh
seemed honestly bemused by all the attention being paid to him later.
He insists he did "nothing special" -- but said he was just thankful
God let him be there for someone who needed help.

Mark's ankle needed 20 stitches to close the gash some runner's spikes
accidentally created. Blessedly, there were no damaged ligaments or
tendons. He should recover fully, after he gets out of a walking boot
and off his crutches.

Josh has reminded me again that there are wonderful people out there
who are always doing kind and good things with no expectation of being
noticed or rewarded. Great kids who aren't threatening teachers or
doing drugs. People whose faith is not a banner or excuse, but a daily
lived reality.

I just love that kid! Don't you? And I want to be more like him.

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may
see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

a perfect prayer...

(this prayer is found at www.heartlight.org)

this prayer perfectly expresses my heart...

O Lord God, I appeal to You in the name of Jesus to have mercy on me.
Have mercy on me for my weakness, hypocrisy, and sin.

Lord, please do not just forgive me, but strengthen me
and enable me to be a more sturdy and faithful disciple.

Have mercy on me in my time of confusion and need.
Heal my illnesses, mend my broken heart, and still the storms of my troubled mind.

Have mercy on me as I try to decide Your will for my life and as I try to discern the path You want me to take in the decisions I must make.

Have mercy on me as I seek to minister
and as I need Your strength, wisdom, and compassion to touch others.

Lord God,and Jesus my Master in whose name I pray, have mercy on me.

Amen.

We miss you, Elliot...

12 years ago, my family began watching Law & Order: SVU...

my daughter, B. became Mariska Hargitay's greatest fan and we've been hooked ever since.

Watching a television program for that many years can alter your life.
You can come to care for the characters, actors and
the stories can open your eyes and touch your heart.

Christopher Meloni has done just that.

Last night was the premiere SVU episode for their 13th season and Christopher wasn't there.
For the first time in 12 years, Elliot Stabler was no more.

and we mourn him...
we truly do.

not just him, but his wife and children that we've come to know and care for.

It may seem silly to some, but we've been mourning the loss of him,
hurting because we never even got to say goodbye to the character and man that has been a part of our lives for a very long time...

We watched the premiere episode anyways and his absence seemed to take the sparkle out of Mariska Hargitay...

i know things can never stay the same, that change is a constant in this universe and that letting go is just a part of the lives we live...but it hurts just the same.

So, we say goodbye to our Elliot and pray that God will watch over and bless the man behind the character...

Thank you, Christopher ~
you've inspired us, made us laugh and made us cry...
but most of all, you've reminded us just how fragile and precious our humanity is.

We miss you deeply,

Elaine, Bronte' & Alexandra

When we RAGE...

i call it "hulking".
there's a difference between rage and raging.
rage is something you feel
while raging is something you do.

rage comes from deep, intense pain.
first we feel the pain then we make a choice.

i love the Incredible Hulk as an example.
he has triggers,
moments before he hulks,
stepping stones that lead him to the worst of himself.

for those of us, and there are so many of us, who have
lived through trauma/abuse, if we don't deal with the pain
we can easily slip into the 'hulking'...
it almost feels effortless.
that's a great word for it, because it actually takes immense strength to stay
still with the pain and not let it move past the pain into full-blown rage.

'staying still with the pain'...
allowing ourselves to relive the past or experience the pain of what someone
has just done to us or to those we love, without acting on that pain in a angry/violent manner.

because rage comes from trauma, what we suffered through often made us feel powerless.
and when we 'hulk', we feel powerful...just the opposite of the overwhelming helplessness
we endured.
when i have chosen to rage in the past, i know personally that i experience a certain
fearlessness that feels wonderful in the moment.
i am unafraid.
i am powerful.
i can destroy anyone or anything in my path.

but it's a lie,
a myth,
an illusion
or delusion.

when i rage, i am not powerful....i am weak.
i am weak when i choose to lose control.
and the damage i wreak is beyond description.

here are some basic things i've learned over the course of the last 8 years...i pray you find them healing and helpful:


~the #1 reason i am a 'recovering' rager rather than a 'practicing' rager~

is GOD and GOD alone.
He is the only one that can truly change me from the inside out.
any success i've had so far, is directly attributed to our Father.
i praise Him for healing, renovating, and teaching me all about rage
and how to manage and heal it.

Father, i give all glory and praise to You...



~triggers - all ragers have them~

name calling, cursing, pointing, yelling, speaking after becoming angry, threatening, interrupting, sarcasm, staring/glaring, throwing things, aggressive touching, re-living our 'glory days' of former raging episodes, eye-rolling, criticizing and angry driving.
(taken from http://www.rage-anon.org/RA_What_to_do_right_now.htm)


~though i've often felt like a monster when i have raged, that doesn't make me a monster~

or someone beyond which cannot be saved, someone who is incapable of change.
i'm different now...new...healing...striving...and i am lovable not condemned.


~my 'complaint department' is open at all times for those i've wounded~

i don't make excuses or place blame on others if the blame is only mine to take.
i am responsible for any raging and damage i've done...i fully 'eat and own' any wrongs i've committed in anger.


~every day is a brand new start...a new beginning~

i'm grateful for God's forgiveness and His ability to give me another chance. i am responsible to make the most out of the time afforded to me.


~"no repentance - no relationship"~

a quote the Holy Spirit gave me.
it means that if i have wronged another or they have wronged me, unless there is true repentance there can be no true healing and therefore no relationship.
without sincere repentance, there is nothing to say and nothing left to do but pray and love them from 'afar'...
this is true for us all.


~there is always hope!!!~

regardless of past ragings/failures, there is always hope of healing and recovery...
noone can take that hope away!


"For surely there is a future and your hope will not be cut off."
{Psalms 23:18}

God of deliverance...

{a devotion from www.heartlight.org}

Dear Father, great and gentle one,

When I am utterly, unbearably crushed so that I despair of life
itself, when I feel as if I have received the sentence of death,
remind me that I am to rely not on myself but on you, the God who
raises the dead.

It is only you who can deliver from deadly peril. I have set my
hope on you. You deliver me again and again and again. How faithful
you are!

I pray for my many brothers and sisters in Christ throughout the
world, that they will experience relief from suffering, deliverance
from peril, and comfort after grief and despair.

Grant bountiful blessings to your people, my God, in answer to
many prayers. Please receive this one and make it count among the
many others! Thank you, Father. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Spirit.

Jesus has taught to besiege you with constant prayer. Here we are
again, coming in his name. Amen.

a beautiful devotion from heartlight.org...

Reunion!

Jesus walked to the coffin and touched it. The men that were
carrying the coffin stopped. Jesus said to the dead son,
"Young man, I tell you, get up!" Then the son sat up and
began to talk. Jesus gave him to his mother.

-- Luke 7:14-15 (ERV)

KEY THOUGHT:
Jesus speaks to the dead young man and makes him alive.
Then Luke says it so beautifully,
"And Jesus gave him back to his mother."
Despite death, Jesus brings reunion!
Despite the sorrow, Jesus brings back the joy.
This one event is a preview of our future in Christ.
One day, all those who are dead in Christ will hear his voice
and rise from the dead with immortal bodies and join Jesus.
Those believers who are still alive when Christ comes
will also be changed and go to be with the Lord forever (1 Cor. 15:51-53).
This event will be a day of great rejoicing as all Christians
will be reunited with each other and united with their Lord.

TODAY'S PRAYER:
Father, thank you for the promise of reunion
with those that I love who have died before me.
Thank you for their faith and Jesus' power over death that insures us reunion.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

true humility...

"Humiliation of soul always brings a positive blessing with it.

If we empty our hearts of self God will fill them with his love.
He who desires close communion with Christ should remember the word of the Lord,
"To this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit,
and trembleth at my word."
Stoop if you would climb to heaven.
Do we not say of Jesus, "He descended that he might ascend?" so must you.
You must grow downwards, that you may grow upwards;
for the sweetest fellowship with heaven is to be had by humble souls, and by them alone.
God will deny no blessing to a thoroughly humbled spirit.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,"
with all its riches and treasures.
The whole exchequer of God shall be made over by deed of gift to the soul which
is humble enough to be able to receive it without growing proud because of it.
God blesses us all up to the full measure and extremity of what it is safe for him to do.
If you do not get a blessing, it is because it is not safe for you to have one.
If our heavenly Father were to let your unhumbled spirit win a victory in his holy war, you would pilfer the crown for yourself, and meeting with a fresh enemy you would fall a victim; so that you are kept low for your own safety.
When a man is sincerely humble, and never ventures to touch so much as a
grain of the praise, there is scarcely any limit to what God will do for him.
Humility makes us ready to be blessed by the God of all grace, and fits us to
deal efficiently with our fellow men.
True humility is a flower which will adorn any garden.
This is a sauce with which you may season every dish of life, and you will find an improvement in every case.
Whether it be prayer or praise, whether it be work or suffering,
the genuine salt of humility cannot be used in excess."

*written by Charles Spurgeon and originating from www.heartlight.org*

a devotion from C.H. Spurgeon...

{dedicated to my 3 favorite people on the planet...my children...
i love you, R, B, and A, with all i am and all i ever hope to be!}

Tender Comfort...

"As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you"
(Isaiah 66:13).

"A mother's comfort! Ah, this is tenderness itself.
How she enters into her child's grief!
How she presses him to her bosom and tries to take
all his sorrow into her own heart!
He can tell her all, and she will sympathize as nobody else can.
Of all comforters the child loves best his mother, and even
full-grown men have found it so.

Does Jehovah condescend to act the mother's part?
This is goodness indeed.
We readily perceive how He is a father;
but will He be as a mother also?
Does not this invite us to holy familiarity, to unreserved confidence,
to sacred rest?
When God Himself becomes "the Comforter," no anguish can long abide.
Let us tell out our trouble, even though sobs and sighs should become
our readiest utterance.
He will not despise us for our tears; our mother did not.
He will consider our weakness as she did, and He will put away our faults,
only in a surer, safer way than our mother could do.
We will not try to bear our grief alone;
that would be unkind to one so gentle and so kind.
Let us begin the day with our loving God,
and wherefore should we not finish it in the same company,
since mothers weary not of their children?"

Once more...

i am utterly amazed at how God brings everything full circle...

friends from my past seem to be re-surfacing and the joy of hearing from them again is such an unexpected blessing!

a relationship that had seemed to turn to dust just blossomed again, like wintered trees that find themselves in spring once more.

It's moments like this that keep me grateful and praising our Abba...He is so majestic!
always knowing what i need, knowing me more than i know myself - He is truly the best Father anyone could ever have...

i love You, dearest Abba...beyond words and beyond measure.

thank You, for bringing precious friends full-circle and back into my life...