at long last...

yesterday morning i woke up crying.
i had the worst dream about one of my daughters...
she was in a fire, badly burned and was dying because of it.
she knew she was dying and she tried to make it easier for me.
even though it hurt her, she smiled at me and said:
"it's okay, momma, we'll see each other again in Heaven."

i woke up sobbing and was so glad it wasn't real
that i had to stumble down the hall to see her precious little face...
i could barely talk through my tears as i tried to explain i'd had a bad dream.

i just hugged her and told her over and over how much i loved her,
how much she meant to me...

the sad truth is

because we live, we also must die...
and though i understand with my mind that death is just a part of the cycle of life,
i've begun to hate death.
i hate it.
i hate loss.
i really do.

i hate the parting that comes between us all, in the moment we pass away from this world.
i hate the staggering pain.
the complete enormity of it all.
of being left behind.
of struggling beneath the agony just to get out of bed and keep going...

if you asked me what i look forward to most in Heaven,
(outside of spending eternity with my Abba Father, Brother Jesus and the precious Holy Spirit)
my answer is always the same:

Death will be no more.
no more loss.
the word "goodbye" will no longer be a part of our vocabulary,
and i will never again be left behind grieving for the people i've lost,
for stolen moments,
stolen years.

can you imagine a world without pain...without loss?
that is what awaits each child of God.
no more grief
no more sorrow
no more tears...

to know for once and for all,
that Life has won over Death,
that Good has won over Evil
that our precious Father has triumphed over Satan,
and the Holy War is over at long last.
and when Jesus returns, He'll say the most precious words:

let's go Home...

i love it.
i really do.