thank you!

even though my birthday is not officially for 2 more days, my family

combined easter and my birthday yesterday...

it was the best birthday party i think i've ever had!
so much kindness and thoughtfulness put into it all
with pretty decorations, a delicious cake and such kind gifts...

and i'm just so grateful to them all:

mom & dad

renee', ron, corey, christopher and king linus

nattie, gregory and li-li

mou, nanna and beezawee.

we all missed ernzy...he is the only one that could have made it even more special.

(~we love you always, ernzy~)

we had an easter egg hunt outside, even though it was rainy...

i couldn't join in but i watched and cheered them on!

(my mom joined the kids and she looked so precious and tiny as she quietly looked for eggs...God bless you, Ma)

there was ham, a beautiful fruit salad, green-bean casserole, potatoes o'gratin, rolls, shrimp cocktail dip, vanilla ice cream and a beautiful cake from cosco...

mom blessed me with 4 pairs of shoes - (i have pretty strappy heels now!), 2 beautiful button up cardigans - one red, one cream, jewelry, a new silver purse, nail polish and makeup!

dad blessed me with a very nice box fan - (i sleep on my couch and not in my room and the white noise helps me rest), and smokes - yay!

'nae and ron blessed me with a beautiful pink-ice sterling ring and money for Taco Bell - my new fav! (for some reason, it is the only thing i can eat that doesn't make me want to "v")

nattie and gregory blessed me with a funny card and a gift card to barnes & noble...i can never have too many books, i am a voracious reader!

treesa peesa has blessed me with a homemade betty boop purse, cadbury eggs and my fav hair dye!

i mean WOW...

best birthday ever!!!

thank you all for loving me so much...

and though i can never deserve it or understand why, i will be grateful for always and always and always...

all my heart and soul,

your lainey

i want to be seen...

"Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me,

an emptiness that at times seems to burn.

I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean.

The moon tonight, there's a circle around it.

Sign of trouble not far behind.

I have this dream of being whole.

Of not going to sleep each night, wanting.

But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing...

I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for.

I just want someone to love me.

I want to be seen.

I don't know.

Maybe I had my happiness.

I don't want to believe it but, there is no man.

Only that moon..."

~Practical Magic~