it's been hard tonight...looking at Ernzy's picture...grieving, feeling like i'm dying a little bit inside...
i'll be fine, Abba's holding my hand and heart in His...i'll be allright.
but tonight, for whatever reason, i can't get the memory of my lil sister coming here to tell me that ernzy died...me being woken up by one of the children, stumbling down the hall, seeing nattie, her saying i have some bad news...it's not about ernzy, right? i ask her...yes, she nods.
i can't shake it...and i can't find any words that are strong enough to share this pain...
and i'd give anything to rewrite that day and the one before.
it can't be, you know?
that my brother is gone?
my ernzy?
i just want to scream out loud that he wouldn't do that to me, he wouldn't leave me like that...he wouldn't leave us all like that.
but he did and at moments like these, the pain engraves itself on my heart...
tomorrow will be better.
