Monday, May 15
i've been really blessed with using SMS for my transportation to and from my doc's...i can no longer drive for very long (due to terrible nausea) and SMS has been such a blessing in helping me get to all my appointments.
it was a hot and busy day for this driver, yet he was kind and cheerful and made me laugh.
as so often happens, we got around to discussing relationships, Abba and the struggles in our lives.
i spoke about ernzy and then my dad and he was compassionate and empathetic...
{just speaking about them can pierce through me at unexpected times}
i miss them both terribly...
each of us leave our "mark" our "signature" on this world as we depart from it, changing events and the people around us whether we realize it or not.
i did not realize how indelibly imprinted i had become by my brother's life.
his love, unique laugh and sense of humor, his passion for music and his deepest desire to just be loved.
like the "butterfly effect" & "chaos theory", ernzy's actions, his "ripples in a pond" changed my life forever and i still cannot believe he is gone.
he was such a vibrant man...i wish you could have known him...i wish he would have stayed.
maybe one of the great lessons in all of this is to realize that whether we believe it or not...we all matter.
we all make a difference, for the better or for the worse...
and in the end it's important to understand that we all need each other to simply carry on.
if you can see this, ernzy, i love you so very, very, much, and i want you to know i know that you made a difference in this world...your life mattered here - you mattered.
your life changed mine forever, ernzy...what a beautiful gift you will always be.
