this devotion means so much to me - i pray it moves you as well...

Rescue in Process: Hold On!,
by Rubel Shelly

Thirty-three Chilean miners are telling an unlikely story. After being
trapped half a mile underground for 69 wretched days, they were brought
to the surface one at a time in a cigar-shaped steel capsule that was
only slightly larger in diameter than a grown man's shoulders are wide.

In a rescue process that combined the efforts of the Chilean
government, NASA, a Pennsylvania drill company, and so many others, an
ahead-of-schedule operation brought the men out in a flawless rescue
operation. Each took the 15-minute journey to freedom from the longest
underground entrapment in history.

From the pre-commercialized reports that have emerged so far, it seems
clear that there was an early time of extreme fear and deep
discouragement. In the first 17 days, the men huddled in an area no
larger than 165 square feet. They had no contact with the outside and
knew nothing of what was being done above ground to rescue them.

Reports say that some of the younger men in the group threw themselves
on the ground and refused to get up. They appear to have resigned
themselves to death. Then the first bore hole penetrated their tiny
space, and hope soared. Bodies that had started eating muscle were
provided with food, and tainted mine water was replaced with pure
drinking water. Things improved dramatically.

But there was still a long wait to be endured. Even with good food and
water, what about the emotional health of the group?

The men organized to live. Everyone was assigned a job. Nobody was
allowed to isolate himself with his fears. One report of the experience
I read contained this sentence: "They functioned like a family -- a mix
of love, dependence, frustration. But there were never thoughts of
turning on each other."

As we wait, never doubt that heaven is furiously active on your behalf.

Then I thought this: What a microcosm of heaven, earth, and church! And
how much we could learn from the experience.

The "rescue work" we call salvation is going on above. No more than the
miners could know what was happening a half-mile above them, we cannot
know all God is doing for us in our times of weakness, failure, and
discouragement. We know of the cross in history, and we have the
promise we will never be forsaken.

The "holding-on work" we do as the church is our task while trapped in
the dark and threatening environment of a world where sin has done its
best to trap and destroy us. No, we can't climb out under our own
strength. We wait instead with all the patience we can muster, keep
hope alive, and trust the promise. Refusing to turn on each other, we
encourage one another daily to keep the faith.

As we wait, never doubt that heaven is furiously active on your behalf.

The beautiful words that Zechariah spoke over his son, John the
Baptizer, are as real for us today as they were then:

"For you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to
give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness
of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the
rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in
darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the
path of peace" (Luke 1:76-79).

How much He loves us...Oh, what a Father He is!

I cannot truly express how much the following text means to me...It's from a devotion by Charles Spurgeon and can be found at http://www.heartlight.org/.
I pray it blesses you as it has me...


MORNING:

"The mercy of God."
-- Psalms 52:8

Meditate a little on this mercy of the Lord. It is tender mercy. With
gentle, loving touch, he healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up
their wounds. He is as gracious in the manner of his mercy as in the
matter of it. It is great mercy. There is nothing little in God; his
mercy is like himself-it is infinite. You cannot measure it. His mercy
is so great that it forgives great sins to great sinners, after great
lengths of time, and then gives great favours and great privileges, and
raises us up to great enjoyments in the great heaven of the great God.
It is undeserved mercy, as indeed all true mercy must be, for deserved
mercy is only a misnomer for justice. There was no right on the
sinner's part to the kind consideration of the Most High; had the rebel
been doomed at once to eternal fire he would have richly merited the
doom, and if delivered from wrath, sovereign love alone has found a
cause, for there was none in the sinner himself. It is rich mercy. Some
things are great, but have little efficacy in them, but this mercy is a
cordial to your drooping spirits; a golden ointment to your bleeding
wounds; a heavenly bandage to your broken bones; a royal chariot for
your weary feet; a bosom of love for your trembling heart. It is
manifold mercy. As Bunyan says, "All the flowers in God's garden are
double." There is no single mercy. You may think you have but one
mercy, but you shall find it to be a whole cluster of mercies. It is
abounding mercy. Millions have received it, yet far from its being
exhausted; it is as fresh, as full, and as free as ever. It is
unfailing mercy. It will never leave thee. If mercy be thy friend,
mercy will be with thee in temptation to keep thee from yielding; with
thee in trouble to prevent thee from sinking; with thee living to be
the light and life of thy countenance; and with thee dying to be the
joy of thy soul when earthly comfort is ebbing fast.



EVENING:

"This sickness is not unto death."
-- John 11:4

From our Lord's words we learn that there is a limit to sickness. Here
is an "unto" within which its ultimate end is restrained, and beyond
which it cannot go. Lazarus might pass through death, but death was not
to be the ultimatum of his sickness. In all sickness, the Lord saith to
the waves of pain, "Hitherto shall ye go, but no further." His fixed
purpose is not the destruction, but the instruction of his people.
Wisdom hangs up the thermometer at the furnace mouth, and regulates the
heat.

1. The limit is encouragingly comprehensive. The God of providence has
limited the time, manner, intensity, repetition, and effects of all our
sicknesses; each throb is decreed, each sleepless hour predestinated,
each relapse ordained, each depression of spirit foreknown, and each
sanctifying result eternally purposed. Nothing great or small escapes
the ordaining hand of him who numbers the hairs of our head.

2. This limit is wisely adjusted to our strength, to the end designed,
and to the grace apportioned. Affliction comes not at haphazard-the
weight of every stroke of the rod is accurately measured. He who made
no mistakes in balancing the clouds and meting out the heavens, commits
no errors in measuring out the ingredients which compose the medicine
of souls. We cannot suffer too much nor be relieved too late.

3. The limit is tenderly appointed. The knife of the heavenly Surgeon
never cuts deeper than is absolutely necessary. "He doth not afflict
willingly, nor grieve the children of men." A mother's heart cries,
"Spare my child"; but no mother is more compassionate than our gracious
God. When we consider how hard-mouthed we are, it is a wonder that we
are not driven with a sharper bit. The thought is full of consolation,
that he who has fixed the bounds of our habitation, has also fixed the
bounds of our tribulation.

The Man Without Regrets...

for my brave son...

all i can think about is my son...

i miss and love you dearly, my mou.

i pray this is journey is every bit the adventure you yearn for and deserve!

i will always be here for you, my precious mou...

your mama-muu

what it really is...

(this and other wonderful devotions may be found at http://www.heartlight.org/.)

Church Museums, by Steve Ridgell

I enjoy visiting museums and I like church buildings. I never realized
I could get them confused until a visit to Spain. I saw amazing church
buildings with incredible architecture. They were old, and their
history was incredible. There were monuments and artifacts from
centuries past. It was overwhelming. They were featured stops on the
city tours. So I began asking the guides about attendance today. Some
of them no longer had worship services. Some of them had small rooms
partitioned off for current members. In most of them, there were more
tourists during an average day than worshipers on a given Sunday.

There are a number of lessons to learn about why churches become
museums. Who was it that forgot their purpose? Who lost sight of the
mission? Who lost sight of Jesus? Did each new generation fail to make
their faith genuine and personal? Were they more concerned with church
buildings than building a church? Did the church building become the
church? These are valuable questions and worth asking.

But I want to say a word to any of you who may be thinking about Jesus
and church. Do not confuse the building with the church. Church is
people. It is community. It is family. A church may meet in a building
large or small. It may meet in homes. Or in a coffee shop. Or a school.
You may visit a church building… but you are invited to become part of
a church.

Church is a living organism, not a building.

So if you want to visit a church building, I can tell you where there
are amazing museums. But if you are interested in being part of a
living community as the family of God, then I can help you find that
also. Write me at steve@hopeforlife.org. Or join our blog discussion at
http://www.hopeforlife.org/.

i know you can't, precious Ernzy...2/24/2006

Ernzy...i don't know the words to say.
how i still cannot believe you are gone
how i try to plan for this day, but there is nothing to stop the onslaught of renewed grief
you are irreplacable, my precious Ernzy...and i will never stop missing you.
your smile and laugh
your love for the precious kiki's
your booming voice...

i just can't find the words this year, Ernzy, i keep tripping over my own thoughts,
can't type correctly.

i know i don't want to cry again, remember again, and the thought going over and over in my heart "it can't be...it just can't be!"
the same thought i had when Nattie first told me you were gone.
how can i have lost both you and Dad this way?

i feel you with me each and every day and i know i will see you again, when time drops away and there will be no such word as 'goodbye' ~ forever more...

i'm usually so careful about my wording and phrasing in my blog, but i'm just going to leave this here...raw, uncrafted and without polish.

i miss you, Ernzy, with a grief to fill oceans...

i
have and will
love
you
for
always, Ernzy.

if only you could come back to me...

come back to me, Ernzy.
please come back...

if...

Sara: And if I were to go?

Harris: All I know is, on the day your plane was to leave, if I had the power, I would turn the winds around, I would roll in the fog, I would bring in storms, I would change the polarity of the earth so compasses couldn't work, so your plane couldn't take off.

(from L.A. Story - one of my very favorite films...)

the devotion for today...

VERSE:
"I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble."
-- Psalm 59:16

THOUGHT:
So many things in our lives can be stolen away by natural disasters, aging, and death.
Satan could be appropriately called "The Thief of Always."
But God is immovable and "unstealable"!
We can invest ourselves in him and know our spirits are secure in his care.
He is a fortress and a refuge.

PRAYER:
O Great Rock of my salvation, thank you for being unchangeable and faithful.
Thank you for being the source of security and future in a day of chaos and change.
Thank you for being God.
You are my God and in you I place my life, my hopes, and my future.
May you be glorified in me today.
In Jesus name I pray.
Amen.

for her...

i cannot believe she is gone...

we miss you already, brittany.

This is Faith...i praise God for this precious one!

This is Faith...

This dog was born on Christmas Eve, 2002.

He was born with only two rear legs.

He of course could not walk when he was born.

Even his mother did not want him.
His first owner also did not think that he could survive and he was thinking of 'putting him to sleep'.
But then, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met him and wanted to take care of him.
She became determined to teach and train him to walk by himself.
She named him 'Faith'.



In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfboard to let him feel the movement.
Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and reward
for him for standing up and jumping around.
Even the other dog at home encouraged him to walk.
Amazingly, only after six months, like a miracle,
Faith learned to balance on his hind legs and jump to move forward.
After further training in snow, he could now walk like a human being.

Faith loves to walk around now.
No matter where he goes, he attracts people to him.
He is fast becoming famous on the international scene and
has appeared on various newspapers and TV shows.
There is a book entitled 'With a Little Faith' being published about him.
He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.



His present owner Jude Stringfellew has given up her teaching post and plans to take him around the world to preach that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul'.














In life there are always undesirable things, so in order to feel better you just need to look at life from another direction. I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking and help us be thankful for each beautiful day. Faith is continual demonstration of the strength and wonder of life .

A small request: All you are asked to do is keep this story circulating.

Ernzy...days like yours

Ernzy, Ernzy, Ernzy...

today is your birthday and i miss you with every heartbeat...
days like yours ~ i miss you so acutely, so desperately.
you are so beautiful, did i ever tell you that??
so beautiful...

a dreamer, believer, soother, persuader, carpenter, comic, magician, musician, poet, adventurer, inventor, friend, son, my brother and a son of God.

you will always be this and so much more, precious Ernzy...
and we will see each other again...i promise.







i love you, Ernzy...






Happy Birthday.

this devotion is just perfect...

(this devotion and many others can be found at www.heartlight.org)

Dear Father,

worthy of my love and obedience,
May the thought of deceit or falsehood never enter into my relations with my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Let all of us speak the truth with our neighbors, since we are members of each other.
Don't let my anger turn into sin.
May I never let the sun go down on my wrath.
Don't let grudge-holding and unforgiveness on my part give the devil any opportunity.
Help me never to covet anything that belongs to someone else, but rather to work with my mind and my hands to get the things needed by myself and others.

In the name of Jesus who sacrificed himself for my sake.
Amen.

just for her...

i want to just take a minute here and praise God for rescuing taylor swift last night...

i am grateful that beyonce put herself aside and made certain taylor received her moment 'in the sun'.

“They told me to stand by the side of the stage and I didn’t really know what was going to go down, but I thought it was so wonderful and gracious of her to do what she’s always done,” Swift said.

“She’s always been a great person before anything else.

Before the talented artist, the superstar, she’s always been a great person and I just, I thought I couldn’t love Beyoncé more tonight, then tonight happened and it was just wonderful.”

thank You, Father, for turning heartache into rejoicing...

noone does it quite like You, dearest Abba,

and i'm grateful for that too.

most of all...

i feel:

young
alert
new
alive
delicate
awake
in awe
watched over
protected
cherished
held

i feel these things when i am sitting in the palm of my Father's hand...


i feel:

afraid
unsure
insufficient
dull
nervous
fragile
frail
selfish
untrue
cold
alone

i feel these things when i am using my own 'fuel' to live...
when i'm attempting to be the captain of this ship...trying to steer my own 'course'.
when i refuse to let our Abba Father be in control.
when i grow weary...
tired of waiting...
and possibly afraid of all my prayers being answered.

that last one is a powerful one...i can feel it resonate against the walls of my heart.

do i truly want my prayers answered?

i do want my Christian family reunited and rebound with the cords of God's love and salvation.
i do want us all to worship under the same roof again.
i do want the necessary surgery and subsequent healing to come to fruition...

do i still believe that God can and will fulfill His promises?
do i still believe that God can do the impossible?
do i still want Him to?

yes...i do.

truly...

my son said a terrible thing to me last night...

took my breath away...

couldn't even talk after that...

i just sat quietly on the couch and cried...

he broke my heart.

lil b was in the kitchen when he said those things to me

and after he stopped talking, she wrote me a note

and told me how much she loves me and she was sorry for what he did,

and how he caused me so much pain.

i was grateful for her empathy and compassion.

and then this morning, just before my son left for school, he stood in the hallway and said very quietly,

"mom?"

i looked at him, then at my lap and said "yes?"

and he completely apologized and took back what he said, that he didn't mean it at all, and told me how truly sorry he was for saying those things and making me cry.

he was truly repentant...

i quietly told him that it was okay...

and suddenly, it was.

the softened heart of someone who's truly repentant is a beautiful thing to behold.

it's unmistakable,

undeniable,

it's the missing 'Balm of Gilead',

it's healing,

restoring,

life-altering

and heart-defining.

i've been denied forgiveness in the past

and though the experience was very painful,

it changed the way i see forgiveness...

forever.

so...

if you've wounded another, take the scary step forward

and in true repentance, "eat and own" what you have done.

we all make big mistakes at times and need big forgiveness.

if someone's wounded you, whether they ever apologize or not,

forgive as quickly and as thoroughly as you can.

it's the only way to be set free from the past ~

even if the past was just last night...

Amen and amen to this...i hate death!

VERSE:
For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
*1 Corinthians 15:25-26*

THOUGHT:
How many times have you stood over the grave of a recently departed friend or loved one?
When was the last time you tasted grief and separation from someone you dearly loved?
I don't know about you, but I am so thankful that the Bible identifies death as one of Jesus' enemies.
I am thankful that he hates death, and the damage and separation it causes, even more than I do.
I am filled with joy to know that death will be destroyed and immortality and life will be given to the children of God!

PRAYER:
Holy Father, please triumph with life and mercy in the lives of those I know who are wrestling with emotional, spiritual, and physical death.
Triumph in their lives through your power and your grace. I look forward to the day, dear Father, when death is no more.
Lord Jesus, I not only pray this in your name, but I ask you to speed this day.
Amen.
(this and other devotions can be found at http://www.heartlight.org/)

powerful reminder...

(this and many other devotions can be found at www.heartlight.org)

"Don't judge other people, and God will not judge you.

If you judge other people, you will be judged in the same way you judge them.

And the way you give to other people will be the way God gives to you."

Matthew 7:1-2 (ERV)

KEY THOUGHT:

As Matthew continues his presentation of Jesus' great teaching, he wants us to hear the Lord's words on how to live in our world. The previous verses have focused on how to deal with our concerns for provision and our desires for more things. In the next few verses, the focus will be on our treatment of others. Jesus doesn't want us to fault-find, gossip, or be cynical and harshly critical of those around us. He doesn't want us to assume that we know the motives of others' hearts. He wants us to be gracious to others as God has been gracious with us. However, if we choose to ignore his words, he warns that God will judge us with the same standard we use on others. Pretty sobering reminder to be gracious!

TODAY'S PRAYER:

Forgive me Father, for the times I have been less than kind about one of your children. I am sorry, because I know that you have so much more to be disappointed about in me than I do in others. Father, I want you to help me now, as I pray; please remove any bitter or critical spirit that infects my character. Through your Holy Spirit, form in me the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control that show your presence and transformation in my life.

In Jesus' name I pray.

Amen.

how we look...

i got the scripture above in my morning devotionals and it really struck home for me...

"how you look at other people..."

wow.

i'm a firm believer that there is good in everyone.

it's just harder to find in some of us.

in fact, i'd say that we all need more than a second look to see who the people around us really are on the inside...

the world we live in today, can be so incredibly cynical and dismissive.

we can be so cynical and dismissive

and we often are.

the teacher who snapped at your children...

the bank teller you've gone to for years, suddenly bites your head off...

the grocery clerk who's always friendly, sighs impatiently while you're digging for coupons...

the bus driver, your doctor, the mechanic, your roommate, your boss and the list goes on!

are they just a bunch of jerks or is there more to their stories?

do they need another look?

how do we look at them?

because the Word says how we look at someone is what makes us who we are...

we need to take a second, third and seventh look at those around us and ask ourselves,

"are we looking for the good in that person or just digging for dirt?"

someone once said "...perception is everything".

and in this case, i agree.

so...

how are you looking at the people around you today?

or to put it another way...

are you holding binoculars or a shovel?

for our Ernzy...

My Mom put this in today's Spokesman Review...we miss you always, precious Ernzy...always.

a beautiful devotion from charles spurgeon and www.heartlight.org

"The Lord is slow to anger, and great in power."

-- Nahum 1:3

Jehovah "is slow to anger."

When mercy comes into the world she drives winged steeds;

the axles of her chariot-wheels are red hot with speed;

but when wrath goes forth, it toils on with tardy footsteps, for God takes no pleasure in the sinner's death.

God's rod of mercy is ever in his hands outstretched;

his sword of justice is in its scabbard, held down by that pierced hand of love which bled for the sins of men.

"The Lord is slow to anger," because he is GREAT IN POWER.

He is truly great in power who hath power over himself.

When God's power doth restrain himself, then it is power indeed:

the power that binds omnipotence is omnipotence surpassed.

A man who has a strong mind can bear to be insulted long, and only resents the wrong when a sense of right demands his action.

The weak mind is irritated at a little:

the strong mind bears it like a rock which moves not,

though a thousand breakers dash upon it, and cast their pitiful malice in spray upon its summit.

God marks his enemies, and yet he stirs not himself, but holds in his anger.

If he were less divine than he is, he would long before this have sent forth the whole of his thunders,

and emptied the magazines of heaven;

he would long ere this have blasted the earth with the wondrous fires of its lower regions,

and man would have been utterly destroyed; but the greatness of his power brings us mercy.

Dear reader, what is your state this evening?

Can you by humble faith look to Jesus, and say, "My substitute, thou art my rock, my trust"?

Then, beloved, be not afraid of God's power;

for by faith you have fled to Christ for refuge, the power of God need no more terrify you,

than the shield and sword of the warrior need terrify those whom he loves.

Rather rejoice that he who is "great in power" is your Father and Friend.

another great devotion from www.heartlight.org

LIVING IN HARMONY

Romans 12:16-21

Dear Father, God of the lowly,

Help me live in harmony with others -

without haughtiness, without conceit, willing to associate with the lowly.

Help me to repay no one evil for evil, but to take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.

As far as it depends on me, let me live peaceably with everyone.

Let me seek no revenge for myself, but leave it to your wrath, O God.

Help me, Father, not to be overcome with evil, but to overcome evil with good.

In the name and authority of Jesus I boldly come, asking these things according to his will.

Amen.

this is a great devotion from www.heartlight.org

"You have heard that it was said to our people long ago, 'Don't kill any person.

And any person that kills will be judged.' But I tell you, don't be angry with another person.

Every person is your brother. If you are angry with other people, you will be judged.

And if you say bad things to another person, you will be judged by the Jewish council.

And if you call another person a fool, you will be in danger of the fire of hell."

-- Matthew 5:21-22 (ERV)

KEY THOUGHT:

As religious people, it is so easy for us to feel pious and righteous when we hear of all the horrible things done in our world that are ungodly.

"Thankfully I'm not one of them!" we can smugly think to ourselves.

Jesus shatters all of our smugness.

He tells us that he wants our righteousness to exceed that of the Pharisees and Scribes.

He really means it.

The next several verses will drive this point home.

The character of heart described in the beatitudes is now demanded of disciples in our everyday lives.

There's no room for smugness when Jesus tells us that angry hatred, slanderous gossip, or shaming speech puts us in the same category as murderers.

His point?

Murder starts in the heart and works its way out.

These two actions are all part of the same continuum -- different by degree, not by kind.

TODAY'S PRAYER:

O Lord, purge from my heart all bitterness, hatred, and venomous anger.

Give me your Spirit of forgiveness and grace.

I want to be pure in heart and hold nothing against those you love.

Father, I don't want to poison my heart with the stains of Satan's tools of anger, judgmentalism, and disrespect.

In Jesus' name I pray.

Amen.

dealing with distraction...

sometimes my mind wanders...

even if i'm doing something really fulfilling, sometimes my mind will wander off a bit on a trail that is usually trivial and meaningless.

this only bothers me if it happens when i am supposed to be actively listening to someone else,

and during my devotions and prayer time with God.

if it happens during a time of crisis or great pain, that is only to be expected...

our emotions are constantly trying to survive the moment or moments,

so our thoughts and our emotions wander off to smaller rabbit trails.

but sometimes when i read my devotions and talk to our Abba, my mind will think of 20 other things i could be doing elsewhere.

stupid little things that aren't even slightly comparable to my time with the Lord.

and if i put those other things above my time with Him, i cause Him pain.

it is an insult to God...it hurts Him.

He was never meant to 'play second fiddle' in our hearts.

have you ever been talking with someone, really talking about something important in your life

and you can just tell the person across from you isn't listening?

they're nodding in all the right places but there is a bit of vacancy behind the eyes?

doesn't it hurt?

even just a little?

here's why...

if we are trying to communicate something near and dear to our hearts and our friend/partner/spouse/children aren't really 'tuning in', their behavior gives off a silent yet striking message:

i am more interested in what's going on in my life than what's happening in yours...

now to be fair, that is probably NOT the intention of the vacant listener across from you.

they are probably NOT trying to hurt or ignore you...

but regardless of intentions, it hurts anyway.

because we all want to be seen, to be heard...

when our God pays attention to us, He notices every itsy bitsy tiny detail and nuance.

He gives us His complete and undivided attention.

even the smallest prayer or concern matters a great deal to God.

He adores adoring you...

and that undivided and Holy attention from God sends us this unfailing message:

i love you enough to truly listen and care about whatever you're going through.

you matter to Me.

I value your thoughts and struggles.

I value you...

dearest Abba,

please help me to discipline my thought-life to the point of really actively listening and responding to those around me.

help me to set aside my own wandering thoughts long enough to truly listen to You and others that You've placed in my life.

help me to give my full attention to You the way You do for me.

i never want to put You in 2ND or 3RD place in my heart and thought-life.

You are truly worthy to be my chief priority and i never want to hurt You, my Father...

with all i am and all i want to be,

Your laineyrose

this is a small devotion taken from www.heartlight.org...i praise Abba for this site!

VERSE:

"I will sing to the LORD all my life;

I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the LORD."

~Psalm 104:33-34~

THOUGHT:

Do you sing in the shower?

What words are on your lips?

Singing is such a wonderful gift!

First, it is a gift from God to us, to help us express our joy, excitement, sorrow, and victory.

Second, it is a gift from us to God, to help us communicate our respect, appreciation, love, and

confidence in God.

So let's sing, praising God for what he has done, proclaiming what he will do, and sharing what he is

currently doing in our lives!

PRAYER:

O God, Father in heaven, even your name is holy.

Please exert your will over my heart, and the hearts of those in our world, so they more closely reflect

your holy character.

I trust you, dear LORD, for the food I need each day.

I ask you, Holy Father, to forgive me as I release my bitterness and anger which I have held against those

who have wounded me ~

I will need your help to do this.

Empower me, O God, to resist the temptations and deceptions of the Evil One.

Please make my life a glorious witness to your grace.

In Jesus' name I pray.

Amen.

when we walk away from God...

it is so very easy to walk away from God.
it takes just a moment.
all we have to do is close the door in our hearts, turn our backs and walk away.
most believers have walked away at one point or another...
i believe the most prevalent reason is that we became disappointed, disillusioned and eventually, bitter.

the most painful times in my walk with Abba Father have occurred when i cry out desperately for a particular prayer to be answered and though reassured i am asking in accordance with His Will, and reassured by my closest friends that God can do anything...that nothing is impossible for God ~

He says no.

just like that.
not "NEVER"
but no for now...
or sometimes He says "soon" (which as Abba knows, is incredibly frustrating to hear!)

perhaps we're in a failing marriage and have decided to stay committed, our feet rooted to the floor of our home, determined to hold on and wait for God to refresh and rejuvenate our relationship.
we won't run away.
until...
the pain keeps building and building and building and in our pain, from the gaping wound we call our marriage, when we fall, gasping for breath, in anger we refuse the hand God extends to pull us back up.
maybe because we know God will give us the ability to endure and endure some more.
and we become tired of the pain, we become frustrated and then the words we thought we would never say,
bubble to the surface:

NO MORE!

we feel we can't and don't want to hold on...
we are tired of praying for the same thing when nothing seems to change.
and we know that our Abba Father is going to say, "hold on..."
and those are the words we can no longer bear to hear.
we all wonder why God says no or nothing at all, during real times of crisis.
we wonder where He is,
did He take a vacation?
or is He there but just doesn't care enough about our pain to help us?
and in our pain and bitterness over our desperate, (seemingly) unanswered prayers,
we walk away from the Father who doesn't seem to care enough to help us in the worst times of our lives.
so we close the door.
we say it's over
maybe we say "screw you!"
and just like that,
it's over.
and we walk away...

(i love that line in "Bruce Almighty" where he yells at God and tells Him that He could fix all of his problems in 5 minutes...
i think i've actually said that to God before!)

on some level, we know that going back to God means more pain, more trials and we don't want to willingly suffer anymore.
and honestly, that's the truth.
that to be a Christian means there will be suffering for His sake...because we've chosen to "drink from the same cup" as Jesus did...
the cup of sorrow and sacrifice...
it means facing rejection from the world and ferocious persecution from satan.
it means bearing our own crosses so that we can follow in the precious footsteps of Jesus.

loving and talking and spending time with our Abba Father is so priceless yet it is so costly at the same time.
our walk with Him, eschewing the world and satan, staying close to His side, following His Word
and making ourselves vulnerable and accessible to Jesus and the Holy Spirit ~
just plain sucks sometimes.

it hurts.

the very moment we ask Jesus into our hearts and lives, to be our Lord and Savior,
is just like painting a red bulls eye on our front and back.
we are instantly a target for satan and his legions of demoniac followers.
he hates us beyond anything we can imagine and it is his sole aim to destroy us all.
to make sure we stay very far away from God.
to make us incapable of hoping anymore...of believing anymore.
we are prey, to put it plainly.
and until we all go Home, that never changes...

so, okay, following after God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, can really suck sometimes...it can feel as if we're dying in the moment and as if He doesn't hear us or care enough about us to truly help us when we cry out in desperation.

but can i tell you something else?
whatever pain we endure here, is truly not even comparable to the pain and suffering Jesus endured on the Cross for us.
so great is His undying Love...
loving God, staying by His side, keeping our little hand in His is also the only reason worth living for.
i love my children beyond description or explanation, and my Ma and Dad and my sisters, my lil petey, ttt, shawnzy, my god-children and jeff.
i love them above any others on this planet.
but...
here's the difference between loving them all and loving God:

i can't survive without God...
don't mistake me, i have lost so many loved ones and there have been times i could barely get my feet out of bed and i just didn't want to go on living without that person...
but our Abba Father gave me the will and the strength to go on living without them...
He saved me.
(especially after ernzy's death, when i truly wasn't 'making it' at all).
i can live without my loved ones, though i pray that won't happen any time soon or at all...

but i simply cannot live without God.
i wouldn't even want to try...
He is the only One who makes sense out of my life.
He is the reason i go on.
He makes it possible for me to love and care for all the people in my life.
He gives me hope for tomorrow
and peace for today.

i cannot live without God.

so, my dear nomadic friends,
if you have walked away from God, i know you feel a void that can only be filled by Him.
i know you miss Him.
you miss the closeness you had with Him on a daily basis.
i know it.
i know it because every time i've given up on Him, the emptiness i felt was vast and endless.
and you know that you will never have peace again until you return to Him.

no matter if you have attempted to fill yourself up with things or people that the world deems "happiness"...
no matter if you've convinced yourself that living without Him is the right choice.
you know it is not.

come back, dearest friends, come back...
though you may feel as if it's too late or you've done too much damage to yourselves and others ~
it's not too late.

start the new year on Holy footing...
choose Him, for you know He has chosen you.
we can technically survive without God,
but then again, that's not really living, is it?

God
loves
you...

the only question left is,
do you love Him?

at long last...

yesterday morning i woke up crying.
i had the worst dream about one of my daughters...
she was in a fire, badly burned and was dying because of it.
she knew she was dying and she tried to make it easier for me.
even though it hurt her, she smiled at me and said:
"it's okay, momma, we'll see each other again in Heaven."

i woke up sobbing and was so glad it wasn't real
that i had to stumble down the hall to see her precious little face...
i could barely talk through my tears as i tried to explain i'd had a bad dream.

i just hugged her and told her over and over how much i loved her,
how much she meant to me...

the sad truth is

because we live, we also must die...
and though i understand with my mind that death is just a part of the cycle of life,
i've begun to hate death.
i hate it.
i hate loss.
i really do.

i hate the parting that comes between us all, in the moment we pass away from this world.
i hate the staggering pain.
the complete enormity of it all.
of being left behind.
of struggling beneath the agony just to get out of bed and keep going...

if you asked me what i look forward to most in Heaven,
(outside of spending eternity with my Abba Father, Brother Jesus and the precious Holy Spirit)
my answer is always the same:

Death will be no more.
no more loss.
the word "goodbye" will no longer be a part of our vocabulary,
and i will never again be left behind grieving for the people i've lost,
for stolen moments,
stolen years.

can you imagine a world without pain...without loss?
that is what awaits each child of God.
no more grief
no more sorrow
no more tears...

to know for once and for all,
that Life has won over Death,
that Good has won over Evil
that our precious Father has triumphed over Satan,
and the Holy War is over at long last.
and when Jesus returns, He'll say the most precious words:

let's go Home...

i love it.
i really do.